Its in the eyes...

Teaching high school has seriously opened my eyes.

First, my eyes were open to how "old" these kids are. They do things that I would have never dreamed of doing in high school. They say things that are so beyond what they should be saying. They act like they are little adults. They THINK they are little adults.



I remember in high school when students would say "Psha! I'm grown! My mom can't tell me what to do..."



At my school, we scoffed at these fellow students. My small private school was so sheltered that these kids really were just speaking.



But my kids here... some of them truly are caring for themselves... some of them really must be 'grown'... many of these girls already have children who are depending on them.



And it breaks my heart.



Their eyes are so... hard. Their eyes have a worldly knowledge, that I think my innocent blue eyes will never have. They have seen things, been through things (some of their own making) that I pray to God I will never experience.



But then you see their eyes again. You notice they are still immature. They are still insecure children pretending in a grown up world.



My cheerleaders last night truly reminded me of this. For as much as they talk... their eyes still have a scared look. They are still seeking approval, and there are times when their facade falls and you see their true selves. Afraid of not being accepted, afraid of screwing up, afraid of the world that may not have them.



And I realize....



They're really still the same as the kids at my small, sheltered private school. And my heart goes out to them. I know that I'm doing what I'm called to do. I am doing the right thing. I building tomorrow's leaders. I helping shape them, and I have to do my very best. I have to give them a safe place to put down their facades, to put down their masks, to open their eyes.



It's always there... its just in their eyes.