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First week of school... Done. almost. In like 6 hours, but thats ok. It's Friday.

So, my school starts at 7:10 am. Everyday. That means I get here at 6:30. Just to get things done. Which is fine.

But people have been mentioning to me about how its not a good thing to start so early.
And honestly, I remember reading research on this in college. But the thing is... we also learned that no matter what you're looking for you can always find 'research' to support it. So, can we assume that most research is slightly subjective?? Kinda?

So, this study:
http://www.cehd.umn.edu/research/highlights/Sleep/default.html

Says that teenagers have a later to sleep and later to rise time biologically. It says that the brain produces melatonin from 11pm to 8 am. So, that is why they are still so sleepy in the early classes.

Here's what I don't understand... How do your body know what time zone it is in?? When I go to Rome, will my body produce melatonin on its time zone or stay on mine?

OOOOOR, perhaps does our body start producing these chemicals a certain time after we've been awake, and therefore we can change this???

Not sure if this really makes sense, but I know what I mean. Do you?

Ah man...

So, school has unofficially started.

In other words, this week has been inservice week. The week when we teachers go back for training.

OR, a big waste of time.

Tomorrow is really gonna be... awesome.

I'm going to be on the news!!

I have to be at my school with the high school cheerleaders at 3:50 AM.

AND we're traveling to Dallas to be on the News 8 Daybreak.

yay.

It's not so much that I hate mornings. It's more that I hate waking up. Ever. I don't care what time it is.. and I guess really its not waking up so much as it is waking up to an alarm clock.

I like to wake up on my own. I wake up between 8 and 9 on saturdays and I'm happy.

Just sayin...

Um, Nevermind

I take it back! I do not want a project, or something to do.

I do not want to wake up at 7 am. I do not want to do cheer stuff at 8 am.

But I do. And I do Love it.

I walked into my classroom today. First time since May. And apparently its been taken over by band. Band chairs and music stands were all over the space. So, I can't do anything to the room yet. Good thing they pay us to be there next week. :) I'll do it again..

and just so, everyone knows, little kids really do make scary movies scarier. No question about it.

I also JUST realized I only have about 3 months to get this whole wedding shindig done. That's ok.. Next, on the list... Pick suits for the guys. Lets get it done!

WHAT?! its almost noon??

Seriously though. I wake up at 8 am, and I haven't done much. This last week of summer is kinda dragging on. I need a project. I need energy. I need motivation.

But I think I'll just go to the pool.

Work on my non-exsist tan.

But first, a quick anecdote... I got a washer and a dryer! Horrah! My brother and fiance lugged them up to my third floor apartment and put them in their prospective spots. I went to the store..

LOWES!! I bought the hoses and the dryer vent. Very proud of myself, if I must say so, and I DO! BUUUT, I forgot the drainage hose for the washer... apparently that's REALLY important. :/

So, Tuesday (after I drop my car at the body shop-completely other story that frankly I'm surprised I did not blog about-and pick up a lovely toy car rental) I head over to Lowes again and buy the drainage hose AND clamp... see I knew I needed that special little thing.

I go home, and darnit I'm going to do this myself! I had already asked the fiance to help me, but he didn't want to go to Lowes.. blah blah blah. So, being the hard headed, independent, do-it-myself kinda girl that I am, I hopped behind the washer, got my flat head screwdriver and put the hose and clamp on.

I was very proud of myself! Obviously..But then it wouldn't turn on. I looked at the breaker box, nothing... OH the water.. I have to turn the water on.. BUT I can't. It was turned off really tightly, so I relinquish and wait.

Brother and Fiance both come over that night. Fiance turns on the water. Viola! it works... but its making a God awful noise.. Brother goes to check it out finally... and well THERE'S WATER FRIGGIN EVERYWHERE!!!!!!!!!!

Fiance quickly pulls out the washer and we see the water gushing out my not so tightly clamped clamp. My Bad.

To make matter worse.. I was washing a load of towels. So, most of my towels are already wet... I grab the towels that didn't fit and we start trying to soak up the water.. and ITS HOOOOOOT water!!! why is it hot?!?! I put it on cold.. it BURNS! My bad again. I hooked them to the wrong wall faucets...

So, now we're grabbing the towels out of the washer, because even though they're kinda wet, the floor is way more wet! And fiance says "I think I made a mistake I took the hose off completely and now its coming out really fast." HIS BAD!

Then, we have a bright idea! cups! We'll use cups like we're bailing out a sinking row boat (which obviously this situation feels like). Now, we have an assembly line, and only three large cups.

Finace squatting behind the washer catching the water in a cup handing it to me. I hand him and empty cup and hand the full cup to Brother. Brother empties it and hands it back to me.. and well youget the idea.. except since we waited so long.. the floor took up most of the water, and we only filled up like 4 cups..

So much for quick thinking in a crisis.. :)

Anyways, as soon as the water stopped, Fiance put the hose on and the clamp on and tightened it really well with the twisty bolt wrench thing, and then it worked perfectly!

Now, we know for next time.

OH! PS. You can win a pair of custom painted TOMS at www.holyturf.com. I think I will get some Timberview Wolves ones for football season.. Won't I be the coolest teacher/coach this year?? Maybe even start a trend at the school!

what?what?

Lists...

So, earlier this week, I was in an accident, and now I have to get my car fixed.

Sooo, Ben and I are sharing a car.. it's nice having that possiblity. :)

I like him.

But still, I took him to work at 6:45 this morning.. Sooo, I'm up!

I have stuff to do, but I really don't want to.

What makes me move though, is lists!

I love lists... they can be kinda a kick in the butt, which we all need sometimes...

I make lists when I pack, when I shop, when I teach, when I clean, when I travel, when I plan (duh). and so on and on and on...

But my new computer has this handy little stickynote thing.. and its AMAZING!! I have so many stickynotes all over my computer! Any time I think of something I list it!

Yep. Now, I'm gonna go get list happy... on REAL sticky notes!

Hugs and Kisses

4 more weeks

I only have 4 weeks of summer left. My first year of teaching was.. Awesome to start with, and by the end of the school year, I completely understood the importance of Summer. Being cooped up in those small rooms, TRYING to teach those children became a burden and not a blessing anymore. But as the return to school looms quietly in the future, I am alreayd beginning to want to go back. OF COURSE I would rather be a teacher on summer all the time, because come on, I'm getting paid to catch up on my tv and to work out and work on my tan (which I have not done well at all.. I'm pasty!) But seriously, I'm ready for this next year's challenge. I've already started planning, in the most general form of planning (ie: making lists of what I think I want to teach and about how long it will take to teach no specifics as of yet.)

But today, I was reading my proverbs and 22:1 says a good name is more desireable than riches. And I think that by the end of the year, I didn't care anymore. My 'good' name may have been no more. I was merely going through the actions. The kids didn't want to be there and because that made my job 'sooo hard' I didn't want to be there. My GOAL for this year is to not give up. My GOAL is to keep on keepin' on throughout the entirety of the year. I CAN! I mean yes this year will be different, goodness I'm getting married in NOVEMBER! WHAT am I thinking? its the middle of the semester practically, but at least I will still be in the disillusionment part of the year. I will still be loving it even if I am a little stressed and scattered :)

BUT then I will be married! I think that will be a good thing, because like I was jsut telling Ben. He's my best friend, and I will then be getting to spend as much time as I want with him. Sure, I don't get to see my sister as much, but that's actually ok. I miss her, but like someone said, it will be good for both of our marriages.

With ALL that being said, I'm out. ITS FRIDAY! (I know I don't work right now but Fridays are STILL exciting!!)

hugs and kisses

Excited!

I'm so excited!

ALL the weddings are over, and NOW it's my turn!

It's all about me! lol

But really, I've been on a wedding super trip! But seriously.. I'm excited! Have I said that yet?

I've designed the stationary suite we'll be using.. and we've found out colors!

They changed.. last weekend. But I'M SOOO excited about the change!

I spoke with my florist and We're going to come up with some new and neat ideas.. This is going to be amazing! I've been a little blah about everything, but Now I just CANT wait!

In 4 months I will be married!

And going to ROME!

ANd getting to spend everyday with my best friend.

But I miss my sister.. I call her, but I feel bad because she's married and I don't want to take away from her 'married life' now. Whatever that means. Not that thats what she's said, its just what I think.

Anyways! I just can't wait.

AND I've started my work out regime.. here comes hulkbride! what what! actually no... thats not my goal at all, but well yeah.. its just kind of a funny image..

Ok I looked for a picture, but none of them were what I imagined, so I don't want to mess up your vision either..

That's all for today!

Wedding # 1 done..

My best friend from high school got married last weekend! It was a beautiful wedding and lots of fun! Now, I'm gearing up for my sister's wedding this weekend.

My whole family is in town for the wedding, and I brought the kids to my one bedroom apartment. Lee and D may only be two kids, but they take up a lot of room.

We had a real slumber party!! There was pizza and ice cream. We all snuggled down in blankets and pillows and watched Jurassic Park.

I'm so glad they all got to be here for the Fourth of July! IT's my 2nd favorite holiday!! I really, really, REALLY love fireworks!

We all went out to a lake, and watched two different shows and several 'private shows' as well. People were setting of fireworks all over the place. It reminded me of the old times, when everyone would come out to the house and set off fireworks! Great, great, GREAT times!!

hugs and kisses!

Been doing neat things...

I made these on Friday! It was fun!

All you need are some badly faded old shoes.. some material, scissors, modpodge and a paint brush! woohoo!!!!
photos of the wedding next!

I think they're actually really cute!!

3 Weeks

Two of best friends are getting married... and my Big sister!!!
I will be in all three of the weddings.. and I'm soooo ready to through this month... ha. I'm very excited about the weddings, and I'm sure I will tear up in all of them.. I just hope I don't trip.

But I'm done being a Bridesmaid in three weeks! woohoo!

But really the girls haven't been bad. They are all type A teachers.. and they want to do everything themselves. And as I have been stalking wedding blogs, the biggest advice I can find is: Delegate things to be done because even though it seems important now.. it won't matter the day of.. and it will most likely be done better than you could do if you are doing Everything!

.................................................................................................................................................................

I've been creating different invitations for Ben's and mine's wedding.. I suppose I should ask him what he thinks about the invitations... Its just sometimes hard to get his honest opinion.. He's a boy... That's kind of why I like him, though. You know that whole being a boy thing. ;)

The next three weekends are going to be full of tears, cheers, heels, and tulle.

Lady of Leisure

As Ben's mom likes to put it... I'm very good at being a " Lady of Leisure."
I'm very good at filling up my days with things to do, that really aren't that important. It's kid of a special talent. I mean everything I do has a purpose, but its not actually important. Except now.. I have planned out my summer days.. they'll go a little something like this everyday.. well these are things that will be in my everyday.. not necessarily in any order at any time.. because I can..
*coffee
*read Bible
*write
*work out
*pool time
*wedding planning
*anything else I want to do
sounds good to me.

:)

Excitement!

I JUST had internet installed at home! I'm so excited for what this means for me... ok for my wedding! I am going to write more this summer. I must! I have all the time in the world now, (I mean sort of.. what amid all the weddings and wedding parties I have..) to dedicate myself to what I truly want to do.

I had a friend call me up today out of the blue... I swear I have some of the most interesting friends. I think I'm drawn to them because they get to live the lives that I only dream of living. For instance, one friend lived abroad in Costa Rica for a year. Now she lives in D.C., this summer she is going to live in San Francisco... She's also one of the kindest, most sincere and truly loveable people that I know. Another friend is pursuing her dream of becoming a doctor, and still traveling. The other day she was in Yosimite, this weekend she is in Seattle.

The friend I spoke with today is on the verge of opening her own boutique. Of personal lable clothes. She's dreamed up some edgey name, and already bought her first round of clothes, and is talking to someone about a place today. She once broke up with her boyfriend and drove to Panama City in the dead of night. I mean who does these things?

My friends are living lives out of novels, and I'm living a life from "The Rules." Which isn't bad. I'm in love and get to spend the rest of my life with someone who loves me back. And he sees the passion and fire in me. He prods me to do the things I dream of doing.. and I lie by the pool.. happy.

I guess all I'm saying is I think I'm kindling a fire to do more with myself. I've been described as dogged before. But I'm also practical and usually my fierce determination goes towards practical things.. like getting a job, saving money, paying loans.. blah blah blah.. I need something to be passionate about..

and while I'm on the subject of passion... I get to REALLY start planning my wedding! I want to meet with this lady and talk about what we can do to transform my wedding space.. I also want to make these http://http://ruffledblog.com/diy-string-wedding-chandelier/. They're pretty much AMAZING! Maye I'll post my own how to with pictures!

Maybe this is my passion.. :)

I wonder

how I put up pictures of my invites.

I wonder why I'm still at work.

I wonder what it would be like to never have to clean again?

(That's why I'm here. I don't want to go home and clean.)

I wonder why we have to work out? Why can't our bodies just naturally be right?

I wonder if I will ever really finish writing that book.

I wonder if I will actually work out tonight. (Will I use working out to procrastinate cleaning or cleaning to procrastinate working out?)

I wonder if anyone really reads these.

I wonder what my wedding will turn out to be like.

I fear that it will flop.

I think I will cry on Wednesday. I'm reading obituaries for the every 15 minutes program.

You know where the kids are "killed" by a drunk driver. They're pulled from class. And me and a counselor read what their parents have written for them to the class.

I wonder if this really makes a difference.

I wonder if I will throw up that chocolate I just ate. I think I ate too much too fast.

Isn't that the worst? Too much of a good thing I guess...

sometimes I really hate when cliches are true. It rubs my bubble the wrong way without bursting it. You know what I mean?

Have you ever just let your mind wander? I find it kind of trippy where it ends up.

But still.. I wonder...

A New Idea...

I've been creating invitations.. It's been busy, but I love it! Next project: Amanda's wedding invitations! I'm going to take pictures of these and post them later, but I have to get them all together, first.

I love having a way to create something! It's nice to work with my hands and my mind. To see how the two work together (or sometimes don't.. lol) is just another testiment to God's goodness and the grace and beauty that He created us for.

I have been thinking about adding a "what's for dinner?" to my blog.

It's an idea I had over spring break. Me and two of my friends were staying at one of their grandma's house. Everything she made for us to eat was so Good! Sure it's not the healthiest options, but those recipes and ideas need to be put down somehow.

I plan on either using a Grandma's recipe or my own family recipe. Sometimes I'll make them (probably only on Thursdays and weekends) and post pictures. Sometimes they'll just be really good things to try. Hopefully, other people will try them, too!

This is will probably be better this summer, since I will have internet at home then. :)

I feel excited on the inside...

I'm so excited! I get to start designing invitations again!!

I will some day be just designing... I hope. Or just a side business...

I really love it. I really miss it.

P.S.

I've seen people doing these "20 day challenges.." what is this??

Oh! And I realize this Blog design is incredibly lacking.. I just don't know how to change that.. someone computer savvy, please help me! I can design a MEAN invitation, but this computer stuff is so tricky. :)

Studying

Yep, I forgot how much I dislike this.

I have my certification test at 2!

Its in the eyes...

Teaching high school has seriously opened my eyes.

First, my eyes were open to how "old" these kids are. They do things that I would have never dreamed of doing in high school. They say things that are so beyond what they should be saying. They act like they are little adults. They THINK they are little adults.



I remember in high school when students would say "Psha! I'm grown! My mom can't tell me what to do..."



At my school, we scoffed at these fellow students. My small private school was so sheltered that these kids really were just speaking.



But my kids here... some of them truly are caring for themselves... some of them really must be 'grown'... many of these girls already have children who are depending on them.



And it breaks my heart.



Their eyes are so... hard. Their eyes have a worldly knowledge, that I think my innocent blue eyes will never have. They have seen things, been through things (some of their own making) that I pray to God I will never experience.



But then you see their eyes again. You notice they are still immature. They are still insecure children pretending in a grown up world.



My cheerleaders last night truly reminded me of this. For as much as they talk... their eyes still have a scared look. They are still seeking approval, and there are times when their facade falls and you see their true selves. Afraid of not being accepted, afraid of screwing up, afraid of the world that may not have them.



And I realize....



They're really still the same as the kids at my small, sheltered private school. And my heart goes out to them. I know that I'm doing what I'm called to do. I am doing the right thing. I building tomorrow's leaders. I helping shape them, and I have to do my very best. I have to give them a safe place to put down their facades, to put down their masks, to open their eyes.



It's always there... its just in their eyes.

Isn't it Ironic?

So... As I sit and complain on Friday afternoon... Ben is out scheming and plotting with my sister...

It's true! Not all Lies and Deceptions are bad... Sometimes they lead to beauty!

I was to go shopping with my sister last Friday. Then we were going to go eat in downtown Fort Worth with another friend. But not until 7:30. That's late.

I eat lunch at 10:30... AM

I was hungry and beginning to get cranky.

We finally went back to her apartment from shopping.. so we could freshen up.

I was sitting and waiting on Amanda. She was brushing her teeth talking about how "B" was late.

Finally, she handed me her keys and said she'd meet me in the car... I stood with the door open talking to her roommate.

When I finally turned around.. there were roses on the ground outside the door. I quickly shut the door and shouted at my sister, "Something is going on outside your door!"

She asked me what?

"Theres roses on the ground! I think its your stalker!!!!"

I then creeped outside the door hoping there was no one there. I looked around the corner and quickly ran back into the apartment...

"THEY LEAD SOMEWHERE! I bet they lead to his apartment!"

Amanda and Abby, "Follow them! You're not afraid!"

I creeped around the corner peeking down the stairs.. The trail of roses led me down the stairs.. I had my purse up in my hands ready to hit someone if I needed to..

Then I loooked up and saw that Abby and Amanda were not following me... I looked at the trail of flowers and realized the led to the pool..

AH!

I quickly walked to the pool and found Ben waiting for me under the Cabana..

"Hello, Bright Eyes."

I quickly walked to him and he took my hand and knelt to the ground. He said..

"I tried to have our song playing, but it wouldn't work. I had a whole speech prepared for this moment, but its left my head.. But I love you and want to marry you. Will you marry me?"

I grabbed him and kissed him!

"You have to answer before you get the ring..."

"YESSS!"

Then he said some more sweet, sweet, wonderful things!

I love him with all my heart! I cannot wait to become his bride! I will spend the rest of my life loving him, laughing at AND with him, playing with him, waking everyday with him, praying with him, and just living with him!

I am engaged!

Learning...

Thank you, Kate Nash, for these words of wisdom... We all have to learn to be alone... and be HAPPY while we're alone..

I'm still learning this.

And I think the universe is Forcing me to learn it.

Dang.

"Merry Happy"

Watching me like you never watch no one

Don't tell me that you didn't try and check out my bum

Cause I know that you did

Cause your friend told me that you liked it

Gave me those pearls and I thought they were ugly

Though you try to tell me that you never loved me

I know that you did' Cause you said it and you wrote it down

Dancing at discos

Eating cheese on toast

Yeah

you make me merry make me very very happy

But you obviously, you didn't want to stick around

Dancing at discos

Eating cheese on toast

Yeah you make me merry make me very very happy

But you obviously, you didn't want to stick around

So I learnt from you

Do do do da do do do do do da do do do do do da do

So I learnt form youDo do do da do do do do do da do do do do do da do

I can be alone, yeah

I can watch a sunset on my own

I can be alone, yeahI can watch a sunset on my own

I can be aloneI can watch a sunset on my own

I can be alone, yeah

I can watch a sunset on my own

I can be alone, yeah

I can watch a sunset on my own

I can be aloneI can watch a sunset on my own